


Choking on... stuff

by katychan666



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Amused Malec, Attempt at humour, Funny, M/M, based on a prompt, crackfic, horrified jace
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-16
Updated: 2018-07-16
Packaged: 2019-06-11 08:40:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15311694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katychan666/pseuds/katychan666
Summary: Jace tells a story how he almost choked. Alec misunderstands and gives him an... interesting life lesson.OrMalec poking fun at Jace.





	Choking on... stuff

**Author's Note:**

> This was based on [this](https://me.me/i/jace-guys-i-almost-choked-to-death-last-night-alec-13681614)

Magnus, Jace and Alec were at a cafe nearby the Institute, the couple happily chatting, holding hands and Jace was just sitting there like a miserable pile of sadness as he was completely ignored. Alec seemed to be a lot more invested into his conversation with his boyfriend than to be paying attention to him at all. He was such a traitor! What was so much better about Magnus than him? In principle, Jace understood that the two of them were dating, but still. They  _ asked _ him to join them for a drink, so why ignore him now?! Jace was just as interesting and as fabulous as Magnus! He wrinkled his nose when Magnus muttered something into Alec’s ear, who flushed and then started shyly smiling and laughing, Magnus glancing at Jace, who gave him a glare, but that didn’t seem to disturb the warlock too much. 

Just before Magnus was able to tell Alec something else, Jace let out an impatient groan, tugging onto Alec’s sleeve since he was sitting much closer to him and Alec slowly turned to him, giving him an impressed look for being distracted in the middle of a very interesting conversation. Honestly, he had completely forgotten that Jace was there in the first place. Wait, why did they invite him again? Oh, right, Magnus was talking about something that he should spend more time with his  _ parabatai. _ So, he did it because of Magnus!

“Yes?” asked Ale through his clenched teeth and rolled his eyes when he saw that Jace was acting like a needy child again and he rubbed his temples. Right, he loved his  _ parabatai _ , he shouldn’t be this annoyed. “This better be good,” he then added and Jace felt shivers running up his spine when he saw that he annoyed Alec. Well, it wasn’t his fault that everyone was completely ignoring him! Why invite him out with them at all then?

“Just stop ignoring me,” said Jace with a pout and if looks could kill, Jace would drop dead right at that moment.What, he was serious? Oh, Jace was such a man-child! Couldn’t he entertain himself with something else? “You’re the one who invited me here, so please pay attention to me as well. You’ll be able to spend more time alone with Magnus later. So, now, talk to me as well, you two!” he then whined and Alec took in a deep breath. Very well then, he said to himself and pretended not to be annoyed, which wasn’t really working and Magnus noticed that, grinning as he watched his boyfriend chatting with his brother. Magnus said nothing, but carefully watched Jace and Alec. 

“Okay,” said Alec and then forced a little, tiny smile. “So, what’s up, Jace? What’s going in your life at the moment?” he asked sarcastically, but Jace didn’t catch on that and he started thinking about something interesting. However, the more he thought about it, the more he figured that his life wasn’t interesting at all. Then, he remembered something that happened today and his eyes widened, banging his fists against the table and Alec arched his eyebrow.

“You guys, I almost choked to death yesterday!” said Jace, his eyes wide and Alec narrowed his eyes, shaking his head. 

“Oh, that’s such an important piece of information from your life, Jace. Congratulations,” said Magnus, trying to mock Jace, but Alec was already thinking of something else and Magnus looked at Alec.

Alec was carefully watching Jace and with his mind completely in the gutter, he completely misunderstood what Jace was trying to tell him and he looked at Jace seriously, the blond one giving his brother a questionable look and Alec took in a deep breath. He was preparing himself to give his  _ parabatai _ the lesson of his life, rubbing his palms together and then he took in a deep breath before he finally spoke up. 

“It’s okay. Next time just remember to stay still and breathe through your nose before you take in more,” said Alec seriously, Jace’s eyes wide, because he totally wasn’t on the same page as Alec, who was already taking this seriously. “Listen, your biggest enemy is your gag reflex,” he then added and Jace’s face went red, while Magnus glanced at them when he heard what Alec was talking about and he was trying to hold back his laughter, but was doing nothing to stop his blabbering boyfriend. Oh, this was hilarious. Plus, Jace was getting flustered, which was always a bonus in Magnus’ opinion and he leaned back in his seat and enjoyed the show. 

“W-what?” stammered Jace.

“Yes,” said Alec and went closer to Jace. “It takes some practice, though,” said Alec then and pressed his lips together as he was trying to think of something else to say. “You need to learn how to get your gag reflex under control. And it’s not even that hard, you know,” said Alec and Magnus was shaking with laughter as he tried his best not to just laugh out loud, but Jace’s look was completely horrified when he finally understood where Alec was aiming with that. “It’s a process that takes time and effort, but there’s no other way around this. It’s all worth it in the end,” said Alec and nodded.

“Alec, I think you misunderstood what I-”

“Shh, Jace, it’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” said Alec and placed his hand on top of Jace’s shoulder, giving him a compassionate look. “You need to start out with something small and work your way up from there. Just remember to  _ always _ breathe through your nose and practice. Practice and repetition and you’ll get the hang of it,” he then said and smiled proudly. “Just like me,” he then added and Jace almost choked on the water he started chugging down. He really didn’t need to know how talented Alec was at deep-throating and he looked over at Magnus, whose face was red as he was trying to suppress his laughter. 

“Alec I was talking about choking on food,” croaked Jace and pressed his lips together. “W-what the hell are you even-”

“Oh,” said Alec completely unphased. Usually, he’d be blushing, but not this time as he was having far too much fun at seeing Jace losing his shit like this and he snorted. “Well I was talking about choking on… stuff in general,” said Alec in amusement and Jace quickly took one big gulp of his water and Magnus decided to chime in.

“I’m the stuff in general,” stated Magnus proudly.

Jace choked on the water for the second time and then he started coughing. “I really didn’t need to know that,” forced out Jace and Alec shrugged.

Alec laughed again when Jace said that and he then shrugged. “Hey, I was just giving you a friendly advice, you should be thanking me, for your information,” he then added and Magnus slowly wrapped an arm around Alec and pulled him in close, Jace still trying to collect himself and was trying to get himself under control, but it wasn’t working at all. Especially with Magnus wearing a smug look like that.

“You should value Alexander’s input,” said Magnus. “I made him good at it,” he then added and waggled his eyebrows. 

“Oh, you were a wonderful teacher, Magnus,” purred Alec against Magnus’ ear.

“And now the student surpassed the master,” joked Magnus, Alec chuckling.

“Well, I wouldn’t say that,” said Alec and kissed Magnus softly. “There’s still a lot of techniques you need to teach me,” he then added and glanced at Jace on purpose, Jace slowly trying to come with an excuse to leave. He needed to leave and run away to Clary. He was going to be safe there!

“It’s always a  _ pleasure _ to teach you, Alexander,” said Magnus and chuckled as he pressed a kiss on top of Alec’s nose. “You’re such a good student, always taking everything  _ in _ , every single little  _ detail, _ ” he joked and looked over at the blond Shadowhunter, who was trying his best not to  _ scream _ . This was too much. Just too much. Those two were impossible.

“You two… you know what, I’ll just leave,” said Jace, making up an excuse that Clary was needing him, but it was a blatant lie and all of them knew it. As Jace was gone, Magnus and Alec started laughing out loud, Alec laughing so hard that tears went to his eyes and Magnus wasn't that far away from him, because this was comedy gold. Bless Alexander!

“By the Angel,” stammered Alec and shook his head.

“I think you’ve scarred your brother for life,” said Magnus.

“Who cares, this was too funny,” added Alec and Magnus had to agree with that. Oh. It was hilarious indeed. While the two of them decided to spend a bit more time at the cafe, Jace went over to Clary and told her  _ everything.  _ However, her reaction wasn’t what he expected. Instead of trying to console him, Clary wanted to know  _ more _ of what Alec told her, which only made Jace feel that more horrible. Clary called Alec, asking him for more advice and Jace was just sitting there next to Clary, wearing a horrified look on his face, hugging his legs as he pulled them up to his chin and was just staring in front of himself as Clary was getting lessons from Alec. 

_ Not just his parabatai, but his girlfriend was a traitor as well! _

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading.  
> Comments and opinions are well appreciated.  
> Come follow me on [Tumblr](http://katychan666.tumblr.com/)


End file.
